The Great Dream—A Critique: APPENDIX A

This appendix contains never-before-published material. The content isn’t repeated in any section of The Great Dream—and has not been edited or altered in any sense. JAC emailed this long article to the members of his inner circle. We reproduce it here in order the reader can see the sickly things JAC believes—things that aren't mentioned in his book.

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TAKING THE BEATING

Sat, Sep 25, 2010 at 9:56 PM

Dear Friends,

While I hope to completely recuperate, I hope you will not mind if I send some "old stuff" back through the list. We actually have a lot of new readers since 2002, and I do not know how many times I have sent this. I think my main problem is that I "saw SOMETHING" in 1987 (which I will describe below) (and about which I now have some embarrassment), and what I saw fixed my attention on a "white man", not a black or Asian man, or any other kind of racial mixture or derivative. Now what I (am still sure I) "saw" (IF from God and I guess I still think so) was NOT any kind of racial mixture, but a plain white man, and PERHAPS what I "saw" was an accommodation to my prejudices, lest I should look for evil in every "other than plain white" person who rose to prominence before me - OR PERHAPS "what I saw" was the mere televised image itself, which I suspected even back in 1990, might well "morph" over time into "the image of the beast". I did make mention of this in TGD, but that was before computers could send a live televised image like they can today: so I say "teleVISED" right now instead of "teleVISION". Also, at some Hollywood gala on TV last year, I saw a full hallographic image of a lady being projected that you could walk around OR THROUGH, and they even had the lady in the image walk up to and stand next to it (her own image). The lady in the image could only replicate the same few bodily moves over and over again and was certainly not capable of having an unrehearsed and taped conversation - but the technology that produces images like this is ever advancing. How about a hallographic Pope or President or anything remotely like THAT, that can be controlled remotely by some other person(s)? Anyway, the Bible tells us that image of the beast "has (I would say all the appearance of) life" and "talks" - but it does not tell us that it walks or does anything else. My "vision" will not control any events future, but will only be affirmed or repudiated by what actually happens.

I still have this: (Rev 13:15 KJV) And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.

AND these matters ARE NOT SIMPLE or simply explained, but the best I can do right now with these matters is to watch the Bible very closely, not only for what it says, but also for what the Bible DOES NOT SAY. Looseness with these matters and a penchant of looking for omenistic signs such as phone calls at a certain time of day, or Jewish festivals, has produced many a disappointed expectation and shamed (the) many (who COULD be shamed). ANYWAY - I think THE ESSENTIAL ISSUE that I "dare to touch" below is still VERY CURRENT and maybe, with online LIVE video chat as ordinary as it is, MAYBE EVEN more contemporary than when I originally wrote this, in 1992. It was right after religious TV gave me YET ANOTHER one of those "beatings" that I am sure all of you have endured, so I was pretty "enlivened" when I wrote it: the memory of pain, fear and disappointment conjoined to SHAME that I, even I, should have "fallen for it AGAIN", even after so song a time and so many such experiences.

I do not know why it is so hard for me to "learn" in matters like this, so of course I must automatically JUST FORGIVE every other Christian who is taken in or wounded by APPARENTLY LIVE religious broadcasting. Thank you all for even "being there"!! Brother Dean

June 6, 2002

TAKING THE BEATING

(from "Christian" television)

I have been "taking the beating" from so-named "Christian" TV since I resumed watching TV in about 1979. From 1970 (when I was converted) to 1979 my living circumstances and my social life kept me more or less away from the TV. When my living circumstances again allowed me the freedom and time to watch TV, I often sought out "Christian" programming (like many of you did, or do). WELL, tonight I spent about 30 minutes on one of the "Christian" channels...and finally..... I've had all that I can take. I have to complain, and I have to WARN YOU about what so-named "Christian TV" is doing to you....(if you're like me, that is).......

"Christian" radio, yes, and every other form of potentially IMPERSONAL (but) direct communication, including general e-mail letters (those not written specifically to and for you) share some of the dangers inherent in "Christian TV", but the force of these non-visual-contact forms of communication is considerably less than the psychological and emotional force that television or video recordings exert. I am mostly concerned about those situations in which "a person on TV can appear to speak PERSONALLY to YOU in a one way conversation"

THE DIFFERENCE between the printed page (like the Bible or any regular book) and mass communications media is that TV, radio and e-mail MAY PRETEND to be "personal" - that is, YOU may be left with the impression that the message is to you, for you, and about you - TO YOU in particular - as if you are the MAIN ONE to whom the message is INTENTIONALLY directed - WHEN IN FACT, you may be no more than a nameless and soul-less string of letters and numbers to the sender; a mere statistic; a potential customer; a "fish" that they are trying to hook, reel in, and EAT.

I hope that God is provoking someone to pray for me (right now) as I undertake to write this expose', for this is not going to be easy for ME to say CORRECTLY. I do not want to "toss out the baby with the bathwater".

VISION I HAD IN 1987

(while watching "Christan" TV)

I was sitting on the couch in the den with my wife, watching "Christian" TV. There, on the screen was a young man in a tan suit on a stage standing behind a microphone stand (one of those tall skinny chrome-pipe-stands with the round, black, weighted bottom). The young man appeared to be in his mid-thirties (my age at that time). He had curly black medium length hair and slight wispy beard. I watched as he stepped back and forth around the microphone stand, never quite leaving the stand, and never allowing more than 12 inches between his mouth and that microphone. I listened to him preach. I was JEALOUS of that man. He was about my age, and he even looked a little bit like me - and here HE WAS "on TV" , and there I was - just another member of his audience.

I thought I was a pretty good preacher, too....maybe even BETTER THAN HIM! How was it that HE gets all the attention and opportunity and I...... well, I......... well...... I was just a man who worked in a motorcycle shop who had his opinions about things........... there were only about 3 or 4 people that ever paid any attention to my opinions about religion. I suppose they were a sort of "semi-captive audience"... (if you know what I mean).

IMMEDIATELY, I was flooded with guilt about my envy (I had gone through this envy-to-guilt routine IN FRONT OF THE TV hundreds of times before this), and I began to accuse myself, AND to explain to myself why GOD had NOT promoted ME to such prominence? I had a lot of things to say to myself..... mostly about how that God was truly fair: so that had to mean that I was just unworthy; AND OF COURSE - that also meant that MY (sin of) ENVY was the proof that I was unworthy... and etc.

THIS envy-to-guilt routine was always followed by a secondary quandary - my next dilemma was always over whether or not I could turn off the tormenting and accusing sight and sound without ADDITIONAL SIN! Sometimes, I would just change the channel and try to forget and ignore the frustration and shame of the past several minutes - but other times I judged that if I wasn't willing to watch "Jesus stuff" on TV, that I had no right to watch TV at all, so I would just turn it off and skulk away! (HEY - am I alone here in this routine?)

WELL, this time I was very upset about what I was going through, and yet to simply turn the TV off would have been to "admit guilt and defeat" in some way that I just didn't want to do! I made some kind of complaining remark to my wife about the preacher's style and message; I raised up my right hand with the remote control in it; I pointed that remote control at the TV like as if it were a gun that I was going to shoot my tormentor with, and just as I tried to depress the channel changer button........

.........I was suddenly engulfed in a vision.

SUDDENLY, it seemed like everything around me changed: I was still in the same room, but now alone (my wife was not there), and I was no longer sitting on the couch across from the TV; but rather, my point of view was from an upper corner on the wall, looking down into the room. The room was dim-to-dark, except for the light emanating from the TV, and all was silent. The light shining out from the TV was that "dusty beam" that you may have seen at night....

...and as my eyes followed the bluish white shaft of light coming out of the TV, they followed it to the figure of a man collapsed on the floor, on his knees, face down, his arms reaching forward with his elbows on the carpet. His hands were turned in and up, and open. The collapsed man's bowed head was toward the TV, and his legs were behind and away. He was on his knees, elbows on the floor, face down to the floor, with hands reaching forward TOWARD THE TV.

And then there was sound. The man was crying, whimpering, begging...... NO!... the man was PRAYING! The man was in agony of soul, weeping and begging God to hear or help him. The man was indeed praying TO GOD - but he was directing his prayer towards the TV! The scene was not unlike what has taken place untold times in history - a man or a woman bowed down before SOMETHING that represented God to them; NOT praying to the image, but using the image as a reminder, a cue, or a point of focus as they prayed. (I can just picture it now... a man in dire need has fled to the cathedral, and after hurrying up the aisle between the rows, he falls to a kneeling position at the front...hands raised..... he looks up towards the huge stained glass window-picture of Christ, and crys out..........)

The author of this article is NOT here condemning everyone who ever prayed in front of a cross, or a picture of Christ, or a crucifix, or who bowed down in front of a Bible on a table (as I have done, several times). This practice is likely never completely pure and RARELY acceptable to God: but if only done spontaneously on the rare occasion (not habitually) or in the youth of faith, I do not believe that this act reveals a heart full of damnable idolatry and superstition. It is very hard to pray to an invisible and totally UNlocatable God with any feeling of confidence, and we NATURALLY (wrongfully) want a sensual point of focus for our prayer. The Third Commandment forbids us to BOW BEFORE any figure or representation of God that was made by human minds and hands. (Exodus 20:4-5)

SO...... I see a man groveling on the floor in front of a TV while bathed in it's bluish white rays in a darkened room. He is obviously in emotional agony, and I can hear in his whimpering that he is pleading with God for mercy and help. The scene was PITIFUL; the man was pitiful; the pitiful man seemed to represent every fearful suspicion that I ever suffered under.......that God was DISPLEASED with me AND my prayer; that I was being ignored; that there was little or no hope for such as I............

AND THEN suddenly..... I was no longer up in the high corner of the room looking down: the groveling man was GONE, and I was standing in his spot in front of the TV in the darkened room, and the bluish-white rays of the TV were now beaming around ME - I was completely bathed in this ray of light which emitted from the TV like a widening cone-shape. I looked at the screen, and the young man in the tan suit was GONE; the microphone stand was GONE; the stage was gone.... and INSTEAD, on the TV screen was a very dignified looking and very well groomed older man standing behind a high table or desk. He was wearing a neat, conservative looking black suit, a white shirt and a tie. The desk or table that he was behind was so tall that it reached almost to his armpits. His arms were resting on the table, with his hands clasped together, and he was smiling and talking. He was talking about RELIGION - the Christian religion particularly. He was smiling, and his voice was reassuring. He seemed to just BEAM with good will.

The man that I now saw on the TV was (looked to me LIKE) the famous Pat Robertson - the president of the Christian Broadcasting Network. (more about this later).

I now paid attention to what he was saying, and EVERYTHING he said was what we normally expect and regularly see and hear on religious TV. He was NOT threatening or denouncing anyone. There was not a single thing in particular coming from him that would be easy to take offense at. IN FACT, all that the man said seemed "OK" - it sounded and felt very much like the kind of preaching and teaching that I had gladly sought out, paid for and sat under for many years. But as I began to focus on and take heed to what he was saying...... I began to be filled with the same condemning and self-demeaning thoughts and feelings that I had so often experienced while watching "Christian" TV in the past.

IMMEDIATELY - I was thrust into the quandary that I described earlier... I wanted to get away from this condemning sight and sound, but I felt guilty for wanting to get away from it! Then I was caught up in another (connected) dilemma - I was trying to figure out WHY I felt so bad while everything the man was saying sounded so good! I could not understand what there was ABOUT ME that was SO THREATENED by the sight of this man and his words. I did realize that I did not agree with what I realized as the implied thrust of his speech...... there seemed to be an underlying message of some kind that repudiated and condemned me. I could not exactly pick out what it was that so threatened me, and that was why I felt so fearful about my reaction! I was highly suspicious that the problem was in me, and me alone. Either I was envious (again), or (worse yet) - maybe I just didn't like hearing Jesus and Christianity being exalted and well spoken of ...... (of course, this thought made me sick with suppressed fear about myself; maybe I just wasn't saved at all and that was why I resented this preaching).

One of the IMPLIED (but never plainly spoken) messages in the man's speech was that ANYONE who took any exception to him and his words was BAD and WRONG: the IMPRESSION that constantly settled upon me was that the enemy of this man's ministry was also and consequently the enemy of the whole of the Christian Church and the Christian religion. It seemed somehow implied and OBVIOUS that this man spoke WITH AND FOR the overwhelming majority of professing Christians: it seemed obvious that the millions upon millions of professing Christians everywhere in the world were "on his side" and were glad to hear him....... I was somehow made to know and realize that if I objected to that man and his preaching that I was also judging against, despising, rejecting and denouncing millions and millions of (supposed) Christians that I had never met and knew nothing about (had no right to judge).

I was then tempted to IGNORE my strong feeling of dislike for this man and his message and to receive that man as "God's anointed messenger". I tried to reason within myself that I did not need to be so offended and threatened by him; but that I should simply "take what I could use" and "ignore what I could not acknowledge" - BUT ONE THING SEEMED VERY SURE...... that I was IN SOME WAY "very wrong" for regarding that man on the TV with fear and suspicion!

BACK AND FORTH I went in my soul, between resenting and rejecting this man, and then trying to humble myself to receive his ministry. ALL OF THIS probably only used up less than a minute, but it felt like hours and hours of emotional turmoil.

FINALLY, it became obvious to me that I could NOT be reconciled to receiving this man as "Christ's minister to me"; I had no arguments or reasons to offer the world for WHY this was so, but only that this man DID NOT MAKE ME FEEL SAFE AND SECURE BEFORE GOD! In fact, the longer he talked and the longer I listened, the more insecure and disqualified I felt. It was as if I was listening to a lecture all about WHAT WAS WRONG with me! I was left with the strong impression and conclusion that the only way for me to escape this torment was for me to renounce ALL RIGHTS to reject or criticize ANYTHING that this man was saying.

AT THE VERY MOMENT in which I deliberately (and finally) concluded that I could NOT receive this man or his ministry as 'the Word of God FOR ME', there was another change...... suddenly, he seemed to be a bit agitated, AND THEN, as he looked into the camera, IT FELT LIKE he was looking right at ME! IN FACT, it seemed apparent and undeniable that that man on the TV 'saw me'........he was looking right at me, AND he knew WHO I WAS and he knew WHERE I WAS! He seemed to KNOW that I was looking at him, and it suddenly felt like he KNEW that I was NOT APPROVING of him or his message! There was a new "glint" in his eyes, and I 'knew' that he was NOT PLEASED about my reaction to him and his message. SOMETHING in his speech changed, and though he continued to speak on about 'general matters and issues', it was PLAIN TO ME that every word was intentionally directed TO ME! (the TV was talking directly to me as if it were an oracle of God)

The underlying message (the 'intimation' or insinuation of his words) was NOW a pointed and detailed attack against ME personally. The other millions who were watching him thought that he was still just "going on": but he and I both knew that he was now speaking to me personally. There was a distinct and undeniable recognition between us - he saw me, and I saw him, and we both knew that we saw each other!

For a moment I was just shocked - but then, when I realized that HE SAW ME and that HE KNEW WHO AND WHERE I WAS, I began to be filled with a horrific fear - a fear so great and so far reaching that you CANNOT understand it even through my best description. I resisted this fear, and the result of that was that he seemed to intensify his efforts to bully and threaten me: NOW, he was REALLY out to subjugate me! His words came faster and louder; he was definitely angry and he wanted me to know it! I was made aware of the fact that there were millions of people who would denounce and even punish me for refusing and despising this man's "authority". (I now compare that moment to what a man must have felt when being interviewed by Torquemada during the Spanish Inquisition - the man that was being interrogated knew that ANY resistance would be rewarded with condemnation, torture and death)

IMPORTANT NOTE here: I was CLEARLY made to know that THIS MAN had the power to have me 'rounded up' and interrogated; he had the power to have me publicly scandalized; he had the power to get me into trouble with the State and the Police; he had the power to send someone right to my house who could seize me and my family by force; he had the power to have me accused of criminal acts I never did - HE HAD THE POWER OF THIS WORLD over such as I .

I began to feel "blows" - as if I was being physically struck from the front. The intensity and rapidity of the blows increased until I felt like I was being BEATEN from head to foot unrelentingly! (for a moment, I was again removed to the vantage point up in the corner near the ceiling and I was looking down on myself). I was shaking and wobbling in front of the TV - it was as if every word he spoke and every movement of his body was a BLOW sent out of the TV screen. (you may picture a man being repeatedly shot by a machine gun for illustration). Not only was I filled with an ever growing terror, but I was being bludgeoned to senselessness at the same time! I felt like I was being judged and condemned to hell's torments BY GOD right there on the TV!

AGAIN A CHANGE in the vision..... the man was again just a talking face on TV, but now I could see something else. The beam that came out of the TV was entering the TV from the back - flowing into it. The same bluish white hazy light that emanated from the front of the TV was flowing into the TV from behind. I followed that stream of light back, and up, and there was no ceiling in the room. The stream of hazy light turned upward and went straight up into space. I was able to follow the stream of light with my eyes all the way into outer space. There, way up above the clouds, in the emptiness and darkness of outer space, the stream of light entered into a thing like a huge satellite. It was a rectangular object about 40 feet long, by about 10 feet wide and about 8 feet high. I looked carefully at the satellite. I saw something moving on the exterior. I looked more closely, and saw what appeared to be small mechanical appendages waving about on the exterior of the satellite. I looked even closer, for there was something very UNmechanical about these movements.... they seemed almost.... lifelike. AND THEN, I had a horrifying realization - that this satellite was no ordinary machine, but that it was some sort of combination of the mechanical and the organic: in other words, the "computer" that controlled this thing was...... a "living thing". (I later thought of the words "HIDEOUS MACHINE".) It was part living, and part machine.

AFTER recovering from this horrific realization, I saw that the light that emanated out of the front of the satellite was entering the satellite from the back (just as with the TV in my living room). I was able to follow the stream of light away from the back of the satellite, and as I traced the beam further and further away from the satellite, it began to widen and flatten. The light that entered the back of the satellite seemed to go off into infinity, ever widening and flattening and ever thinning. It seemed like this 'hazy light' was GATHERING from all over the universe into a stream, pouring into the back of the satellite and then coming back out the front; from there, the stream of light swept down to the earth and entered the back of my TV, and from there, it spewed forth into my den and encompassed me. Something changed, and AGAIN, my viewpoint was from right in front of the TV, looking at it - I was standing in front of the TV, completely engulfed in the light that emanated from it. I was shuddering and shaking with physical blows and with waves of ABSOLUTE DESPAIR AND HORROR - despair and horror such as you might imagine would be the foretaste of DAMNATION! To stand there without falling over could be likened unto standing against the blast of a fireman's high pressure hose: except that what this hose was spewing out were thoughts, words and feelings that utterly repudiated, condemned and despised me.

At this stage of the vision, I had become (if possible), "used to it", so even though I was being battered with horrific fears and threats, I was able to sufficiently regain my composure to look around. I was "frozen in place", standing up in front of the TV with the remote control in my hand; still pointing it at the TV. My wife was again sitting several feet away from me on the couch, apparently oblivious to all that I had just been through. I was just about to say something to her (ABOUT ALL THIS!) when I was suddenly hit with an additional realization - I was made in that moment to understand something SO HORRIFIC about the antichrist and the foreseeable future that I could not bear to know it! It was so terrifying that my heart begged God to "make me forget it", because I knew that IF I REMEMBERED it, what I was that I was just shown would have totally consumed the rest of my earthly life (I would have felt required to spend the rest of my earthly life talking about it to everyone)! I BEGGED God to "take it away", to make me forget! God spoke to me, and told me that I would not remember what He had shown me for now, but that at some later and appropriate time, I would remember. That time (to remember) has not yet come,

The last thing I remember from this incident was when and as I awoke from the vision - I was screaming at the top of my lungs. When I came out of the vision I was screaming "I have SEEN IT! - OH MY GOD! I have SEEN IT! I HAVE SEEN IT!!!! " Suddenly, everything returned to normal, and I was again looking at the younger man in the tan suit standing behind the microphone.... I had never changed the channel............

--------------END OF DESCRIPTION OF THE VISION--------------

Note about the mention of Pat Robertson: I did not believe at the time, nor do I believe now that Pat Robertson was meant to be anything but "typical" in the vision. He is not the only "TV preacher" who has THAT EFFECT on me (and others). Certainly, my report of this vision does NOT portray Pat Robertson in a good light, and this is the first time I have ever publicly named the person I saw in that vision.

I DO NOT EXPECT my vision (or rather, my claim to have had such a vision) to prove anything to anyone: but it would be dishonest for me to comment on "Christian TV" without reporting that I 'remember this vision as clearly as if it were but yesterday'. The above story is part of my past. I cannot help but be influenced by it.

THE MAIN DANGER of "Christian" TV is that it mimics personal communication: there in front of you is a lifelike figure of a real man or woman, and when they look at the camera, it seems like (and can feel like) they are looking at YOU and talking to YOU PERSONALLY. We all like to laugh at the man who says that the TV is talking to him PERSONALLY........but wait a minute....... we may not want to laugh at the man who says that the TV preacher was inspired of God to talk to him personally..... YOU may even have had several moments while watching "Christian TV" in which YOU BELIEVED (or suspected) that GOD was talking to you personally through the TV. Will everyone who ever felt like "Christian" TV was "God's voice to YOU" (even if only just once) please write back and tell me about your experience?

NOW you can come to the conclusion that GOD is using the TV to talk to you personally, even though the preacher or teacher is addressing general subjects. You might think to yourself, "I was ordained of God to see THIS program, because what they are talking about applies to me right now". It is really quite easy to conclude that you turned on that TV and went to that channel just in time to hear and see the exact thing you needed from God. We all NEED to believe in PROVIDENCE and we all want "special attention" from God.

BUT WHEN the preacher looks directly into the camera; points his finger AT YOU and says something about your problems and your needs - it REALLY gets spooky. Now it seems like God is prophesying to you over the TV!

You have a headache... and the TV preacher says, "Someone out there has a headache, and God is healing you right now!" - OH, how excited you get! It's so wonderful to receive SUCH personal attention from the Lord just when you have that terrible headache!......... but.....the headache does not go away. THEN, you find out that the show was taped, and is in fact over 3 months old. HOW MANY people with headaches do you suppose might have gone through this same turmoil at the same time you did? How many people went through the same mental and emotional routine the first time that show was broadcast? HOW MANY MORE might go through THE SAME routine that you did LATER if that same show is played again? EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?

Several nights ago I watched a TV preacher who was eloquent and interesting as he spoke of prophecy and the end times. He made a lot of interesting points. But then, at the end of his sermon, he looks directly into the camera and "feels sorry" for "me" because "I" have had so many trials and troubles. THEN, he PREDICTS that "I" am going to be delivered by saying (to ALL who were watching), "The winter of your discontent is over, and you're about to burst into a spring time of life!". I DESPERATELY wanted this "word from God" to be the word for me! The man was "looking at me"... he seemed to be speaking to me.... he spoke of matters that touched on my fears and hopes and needs..... he promised ME that I was about to enter the "spring time" of my own life! IN FACT, that man made the same promise (without qualification) to millions of people that night! MILLIONS of people who wish that their problems would go away, or that they would be healed of their illness, or that the money would come - MILLIONS of people were told (AS IF THEY EACH WERE THE SPECIFIC OBJECT OF THIS "PROPHECY); that the winter of their discontent was now over and that God was now leading them into a "spring-time" of life. I then turned the TV off and "reacted" for the next several minutes. The only thing that man said that I could clearly object to was about how good and serious Christians PAY TITHES to their local church house (see chapter 16 of TGD). BUT THAT ONE THING did not seem like "enough excuse" for me to dislike this man or reject his preaching. HERE HE (that man) WAS, telling "me" that I was about to enter "the spring-time of my life" and I resented him over it!

THE FEELING of fearful self-suspicion and the feeling that I and my faith were proved inadequate returned. I wondered 'what was wrong with ME' - that I should go through such turmoil because of this TV preacher. He was SO eloquent, and apparently he was SO educated, and he DID say many things that sounded right to me! He even told the story of how he got the pastorate over his present church and it all sounded so Divine - WHO WAS I to doubt his story?

ALL THIS... I went through in the privacy of my living room late at night. There was no one there but me, the TV, the invisible angels, invisible demons, and the invisible God.

I FINALLY CONSOLED AND EXCUSED MYSELF from that man's "authority" by deciding that he had NO RIGHT to look into a TV camera at millions of people and TELL THEM ALL (as if prophesying) that "the winter of their discontent was now OVER"!!! Then I struggled AGAIN! - Didn't I want to enter the spring-time of my own life? Was I refusing and LOSING a great blessing and deliverance because I was critical of the preacher? But somewhere inside of me - somehow - I KNEW that this man's announcement signified nothing about me. I really DID know deep down inside that nothing new and wonderful was going to happen to me JUST BECAUSE I HEARD THAT MAN'S WORDS that night.

BUT that was not good news!...... I do have some perplexing troubles and problems; I had just gone through a rather difficult winter and I WANTED THIS MAN'S WORDS TO BE A PROPHECY ABOUT ME! BACK and FORTH and around and around I went in my thoughts until I was totally frustrated and near to depression. I was troubled, and I sat there musing about the difference between "God's best" and my present life and circumstances. THE END RESULT of my paying hopeful heed to that man's preaching was fear, confusion, sadness, self-doubt and depression.

YOU MUST ASK THESE QUESTIONS ALOUD:

"Does GOD use the TV to prophesy to me PERSONALLY?"

"Does God appoint me to be in front of the TV to watch certain religious programs 'just at the right time' so that I will be properly ministered to?"

"Is religious TV the equivalent to attending a preaching meeting?"

"Is God displeased with me (or you) if I glibly and disdainfully REJECT the preaching or the preacher on TV?"

"Is it WRONG for me to 'write off' and reject ALL religious TV?"

"Has God EVER (even just once) prophesied to and ministered to any one of His own children through the TV?"

"Has religious TV been God's tool to fulfill The Great Commission?"

"Should I favor and support (send money to) TV preachers?"

"Does a request for donations coming from the TV require ME to "Give to every man that asketh thee"? (see Luke 6:30)

"If I do NOT affirm and support religious TV, am I working against the ministry and plan of God?"

"Is the fact that these TV preachers are given a huge audience prove that God is promoting and exalting them?"

"How would I feel about it and what would I do if I were given the chance to preach to the millions on TV?"

"If I met one of those TV preachers and was given the chance to SAY SOMETHING to them, what would I say?"

"If someone who likes and approves of religious TV - (they believe that God is in it and for it) - were to ASK ME what I think about their favorite TV preacher, What would I say?"

"What if I met someone who enthusiastically reported to me that GOD HEALED THEM or gave them true personal guidance through the TV?" Would I disagree? Would I tell them that they were misled or deceived? Would I call them a liar or exaggerator? Would I try to tell someone who claims that they were miraculously healed by a word or prayer on TV that they were NOT HEALED and that their healing was only psychosomatic (they temporarily convinced themselves that they felt better and did feel better) - and that they were NOT REALLY healed and that their sickness still had them in it's clutches?

"What would I say if someone reminded me that religious TV may be the ONLY "Gospel preaching" that goes into certain lands and places where Christian Evangelists are forbidden?"

In ALL the writings AGAINST religious TV that come my way - NO ONE has (so far) addressed these questions! But to wink at (ignore - pretend not to understand) THESE QUESTIONS - to suppress these thoughts and go about our business without having an answer FOR OURSELVES, well.... this strikes me as 'hiding from reality' and hoping to remain innocent through willful ignorance. We MUST KNOW the answers to these questions, and we MUST KNOWWHY our answers to these questions are correct (in God's sight).

AND THEN... there are all those special TV shows that show us pictures of starving and sick children: we are told that ALL we need to do is send 87 cents per day to such and such a "Christian Charity" and we will be able to completely change that poor child's life.............(these are the most potent and threatening inducements to give you will see on religious TV). Did you ever see one of those "Help The Starving Children" shows? Do they not promise to tell them all about Jesus as they feed and clothe these poor and needy children with your money? WELL? Did you send in the check or not? Did you send in just one donation, hoping to excuse yourself and feel better? Did you sign up and promise to send in the money every month?........and IF you did.......have you followed through? Have you been RELIABLE to get that check in on time? Have you ever wondered what happens to that poor child if YOU DON'T SEND THE MONEY ON TIME? PERHAPS you thought to buy your daughter a really nice and expensive birthday present...BUT THEN you are confronted (on the TV) by a child who HAS NO SHOES and walks around in filth and cannot go to school and will have nothing to eat today... AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is send that birthday gift money to "The Christian Children's Charity"! (You can explain to your child why you gave her birthday present to the poor people, CAN'T YOU?)

THERE ARE MANY nowadays who have forsaken the meetings that we used to call "church attendance", and NOW, they sit in their living rooms and watch a man they will never meet preaching to them on TV. They allow themselves to be accused, abused, warned, admonished, threatened, flattered, promised and prophesied to and encouraged and counseled by a 2 dimensional image that cannot and will not "follow up" to see if you actually DID any of what you were told to do. These TV watchers endure the warnings and the threats in the secrecy of their homes, and go their way satisfied that since they endured 'the beating", they have paid their dues to God for the week. These TV watchers grasp onto PROMISES made to them in the name of the Lord, that never come to pass - and they do not consider WHAT IT MEANS to affirm a Word as from God that DOES NOT COME TO PASS FOR THEM! There is NO accountability either way - the preacher does not know if the watcher is obeying what was preached, and the preacher is not held accountable for what he said to the watcher. THERE IS NO THREAT that the TV preacher will actually visit your home and SEE how you and your family live. There is no way for the TV watcher to look in on the TV preacher's life and see if he is honorable and virtuous "off camera". There is no way for the watcher to actually call the TV preacher to account for the things he says......

AT THE SAME TIME, many who reject ALL religious TV may be doing so for selfish and dishonorable reasons. It COULD BE mere envy of the celebrity and success of the preacher that motivates their despite, or they resent being asked for any of their money BY ANYONE!

OH, THINK OF IT!...... on the TV, the speaker tells the whole world about someone (a "good" Christian") that is in dire straits, and asks (demands) that you pray for that person - it is REQUIRED that you CARE - but then, it turns out that the story is not true, or that it is a year old and the crisis is already past. THERE YOU ARE, begging God to heal some man that has already recovered or is ALREADY DEAD.

ON THE TV you are told about the "poor children" in Appalachia who will have no Christmas presents UNLESS YOU send in the money... so you send the money... never knowing IF the "gospel" that accompanied those presents would have been completely abhorrent to you if you KNEW WHAT WAS BEING PREACHED!

There was a certain woman who cried to us on TV because certain children in certain countries had NO TOYS, and she was going to give them toys IN JESUS NAME with your money. WELL, later, I saw the video of that lady handing out the toys (and get THIS!) - most of the little girls were given dolls - sort of Barbie-like dolls - EXCEPT that those dolls looked exactly like the lady who was handing them out - even down to the makeup and hairstyle. I AM NOT KIDDING!

In the entire history of the Christian religion, only you and I have been confronted with such a thing as "Christian TV". TV came on line in 1948. For 1950 years of Church History, NO ONE ever had to answer to any such thing as "Christian TV". There is absolutely nothing in the Bible which appears to speak directly to the existence of "Christian TV" unless it is THIS: Rev 13:14-15 And deceiveth them that dwell on the earth by the means of those miracles which he had power to do in the sight of the beast; saying to them that dwell on the earth, that they should make an image to the beast, which had the wound by a sword, and did live. 15 And he had power to give life unto the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak, and cause that as many as would not worship the image of the beast should be killed.

I realize that what I have said above does not answer to every detail of this prophecy, but it does contain suggestive language that could apply to "miracles from the TV", and it is not unreasonable to suppose that "Antichrist on TV" may well be the ultimate fulfillment of the above. This suggests that a time will (soon?) be coming in which you are called upon to attend and respond to a broadcast, and your response to that broadcast will be the test of your loyalty to the Christian faith (and maybe a test of whether or not you ought to be allowed to live at all). It could be that "giving life to the image of the beast" is what I experienced in my vision; where it seemed as if the TV was talking to ME PERSONALLY.

Have you ever felt like the TV was the voice of God speaking to you? Think about what that means, and where that ends. WHY NOT go back to that "Christian TV" over and over again, just in case God decides to speak to you personally through that means? "Christian TV" is fast becoming a perpetual oracle - a place you can return to time and time again and always hear the sure word and counsel of God Almighty - JUST FOR YOU!

I will allow that there have been instances where a TV preacher was just doing Bible exposition, and there was no difference between watching that and reading a Bible study or attending a meeting. This was (and is) perfectly fine. TV itself is not evil. But (at least in my case), "Christian TV" has taken on an altogether different character in the last 20 years. It seems to be becoming more and more "prophetic" - even when the TV preacher is not "prophesying". There is an underlying element streaming out of the TV - a sort of subconscious intimation - that what you are seeing on "Christian TV" is truly the heart and soul of what God is doing in the earth; AND OF COURSE, if you are not "on board" and if you are NOT supporting "Christian TV", you must be against the work and will of God!

I have sent money to TV preachers. I have sent money to various charities and causes that were brought to my attention by "Christian TV". I have struggled with wondering if I am not ALSO supporting things that I HATE on Christian TV by sending money to the people and causes that I favored. There seems to be no end to the turmoil that "Christian TV" provokes in me...no matter what I conclude and no matter which way I go - I always end up "beaten up and bruised" after watching "Christian TV". To this very day, I am still not "immune" to whatever it is that "Christian TV" does to me.

MY REACTION to this "beating" is almost neurotic.... I cannot bear the fact that "Christian TV" does this to me, and I keep on wondering WHY I cannot 'just look, take the good, reject the bad, and go my way' - BUT I CAN'T!

I seem to NEED to prove (to myself) that I can watch "Christian TV" and make the best of it! SO back I go, again and again, always striving to find something on "Christian TV" that I can approve of and rejoice in - and I do find such things every now and then....... but then I see that the preacher I liked and the singer that I enjoyed are all mixed up with and in agreement with OTHER PEOPLE and OTHER PREACHING that make me feel ILL!

And now... we have the spectacle of "celebrity interviews". People whose faith is doubtful or even OBVIOUSLY not "real born again Christianity" are fawned over and praised and honored on "Christian TV" by the "regular preachers". Then, the same preacher stands up and preaches what sounds like a real Gospel message! I am CONFUSED by all of this! Did I miss something in that preacher's message that proves that he is not of God? How is it that the preacher can preach "regular Christianity" in one moment, and then sit down and "make nice" with some Hollywood celebrity or sports hero whose CONFESSED FAITH is not only not the same as mine, but is not even the same as the faith that the preacher/interviewer espouses?

There is a preacher on TBN regularly who now wears a costume that looks for all the world like it was copied directly from the Roman Catholic Church. It is "Cardinal red", and even has the "skirt" and the clerical collar. This preacher is NO ROMAN CATHOLIC by any means.... but WHAT IS THIS? I go back and forth in my heart - trying to tell myself that I have no right to judge this man by his clothes and being extremely offended at this costume - and all the while, he is rewarded by applause from the audience, and he seems to be SPEAKING TO ME. Yes, "Christian TV"makes me feel neurotic.

THE MONEY..... forever and ever, they are all asking you for your money. They each ask for your money as if they were the first one to ask you for your money today! In a day's time, you will be asked for your money 30 or more times by 30 or more people. None of them seem to be aware of the fact that the preacher that preceded them asked for your money. Day and night, when you watch "Christian TV", you are being asked for your money - and always, you are left with the impression that some worthy cause or worthy persons will be denied their just and fair due if you do not send the money in right away! The missionary to the unchurched natives NEEDS YOUR MONEY. The starving children in the "Christian Orphanage" need your money. The "Food for the poor program" in the USA needs your money. The building fund for the new (and desperately needed) facility needs your money. JESUS NEEDS YOUR MONEY - and if you don't send it in, you (feel like you) are stealing from the poor and being greedy against the "work of The Church"!

I just can't be the only person who has gone through and continues to go through, this.

What to do? Should we just "turn it off" unless we are looking for things to criticize? Dare we turn on "Christian" TV JUST in order to look for things to criticize? Should we just turn "Christian" TV off and completely IGNORE it? I begin to think so - that we should just turn it off. It is EASIER to watch a "secular" movie, in which we may have to reject and judge against several things in that movie than it is to watch "Christian" TV - isn't it? There is something there... something in and about modern Christian TV that feels like SOUL POISON, and I can't tell you exactly what it is...UNLESS 'WHAT IT IS' is that God is no longer honoring and blessing Christian TV for me (and you?).

WHAT IF God had decided to no longer affirm Christian TV as an organ of The Church? YES, there may be a notable show that I would miss if I simply reject and refuse to watch all "Christian" TV - but I have to balance that potential loss against the BEATING that I get ALMOST EVERY TIME I watch "Christian" TV. It's like playing "Russian Roulette" - you turn it on, not knowing whether you'll be blessed or WOUNDED by what you see.

I intended for this article be more organized and academic than it has turned out to be. This has been hard going (to write this) - but perhaps the frantic and scattered nature of what I have written more faithfully describes what "Christian" TV does to people like me (and you?).

THERE IS SOMETHING about the "personal" nature of TV preaching that makes it different than every other form of media-ministry. Even though the speaker does not know you are watching - they don't even know if you exist! - but there is SOMETHING about the combination of face and voice on TV that makes it seem and feel like you are being spoken to PERSONALLY. AND THEN, when the TV preacher looks directly into the camera and says "YOU.... and etc." - the TV almost leaps into the realm of the oracular. The TV preacher says, "YOU ought be concerned about the suffering children in the CHRISTIAN ORPHANAGE in Somalia.... and those poor and needy children are just waiting for YOUR pledge!!!!...PLEASE CALL NOW!!!......" one half hour passes.... and there is a new show on, and you hear...

"This ministry is distributing gospel leaflets in Arabic throughout Lebanon, and the brave and dedicated Christians who are distributing these leaflets are doing it at the risk of their lives; BUT WE CANNOT CONTINUE this ministry WITHOUT YOUR SUPPORT!" ...and the next "show", after boasting of all the miracles that have happened to their faithful viewers ends with this........ "IF YOU have a need, please call our prayer line and one of our prayer counselors will pray with you"........ and when you call, they want your name and mailing address for...you know what.... and after you listen to a generic prayer made by someone who knows nothing about you and will never hear from you again..... you wait for GOD to "do something". Have you ever called one of those prayer lines? Did that person really 'know you', and did their prayer make the difference? And what if it HAD made that difference? Where are you NOW? What comes next?

In the MEANTIME, all the Christians that you actually KNOW - the Christians that know about your life and your sins and your needs - the Christians that will have to ANSWER FOR what they said to you or prayed for you...THESE are over passed, and you get your "ministry" from a faceless voice on a telephone. These telephone counselor/prayers may "speak a word of encouragement" or even make an implied "prophecy" to you about your fate and your outcome - but they never have to answer TO YOU about what comes of it. AND YOU KNOW, somehow, in your heart, that by appealing to these telephone counselors that you have yielded spiritual authority OVER yourself to them, and THEN, to retract that "submissive commitment" makes you feel like a fool -for WHY were you drawn in and seduced in the first place? Most people just choose to go "blank and dull" after one of these episodes with the TV preacher or the telephone counselor THEY DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT because it is THREATENING to consider WHAT IT ALL MEANS ABOUT YOU!

TODAY, a Brother spoke to my face and told me that he knew by the Word of the Lord that a certain perplexing and threatening problem that I currently have WILL come to an end ... that I will actually outlive that problem - that I WILL BE DELIVERED soon (enough). He has to watch my life and SEE whether or not his words come to pass. He KNOWS that one way or another, he will have to answer for his words spoken to me IN THE NAME OF THE LORD.

PROPHECY is a gift of God - an empowerment from God. God can grant His word of guidance or promise through ANYONE (including the unsaved). WHY would God bypass the Christian who is with you to send His word of guidance or promise through a two dimensional recorded image that YOU WILL NEVER MEET and who will NEVER have to answer to whether or not his (or her) words COME TRUE? Is it SO, that the people on TV are all so-much-the-more "spiritual" than the people you attend meetings with? YOUR WIFE, or your uncle, or your best friend who are all Christians - does God PASS THEM ALL BY to send His Word to you from a 2 dimensional face or an electronic voice that spews out of a machine that you can TURN OFF with the push of a button?

SO, ANYWAY: I went back AGAIN to view some more "Christian" TV and I watched Gordon Robertson (son of Pat Robertson) on TV. FIRST OF ALL, they ran us through a series of (believable) reports about people who were miraculously healed when they heard a "word of knowledge" spoken TO THEM and ABOUT THEM by Gordon on previous broadcasts. People claimed that they were watching the 700 Club, and they saw Gordon say, "So and so has THIS or THAT problem, and God is healing you NOW!" - WELL, "so and so" felt a warmth run over their damaged body, and they rose from the wheelchair and shocked everyone by proving that they were healed!!!!! EVERYTHING Gordon said about healing and believing and trusting in Christ sounded perfectly RIGHT to me. He was also quite sympathetic and merciful in his presentation.

Now I have a chronic pain that is troubling my whole life right now. Gordon mentioned that we never see Jesus "pray for the sick", but that Jesus simply COMMANDED people to be healed. He then counsels (all of) us to do the same. He then went through his "squint and prophesy" routine - claiming by his behavior that God was giving him "words of knowledge" about needy people in the TV audience. I "held my breath" waiting and hoping for Gordon to say SOMETHING that applied to ME. I am in pain, and I need help! LISTEN TO ME - real need always trumps pride, and I was willing to be healed right there at Gordon's word if God would heal me that way. I know that if God healed me through a word of knowledge from Gordon Robertson ON TV, that I would have to add that FACT to my article and that it would affect and control what I wrote.... but nothing Gordon said APPLIED TO ME: (disappointed! - I am in pain and I desperately want to be healed, and I will make no rules for God to go by in this matter). SO THEN, Gordon tells the audience (millions) to lay their own hand on the afflicted part and command the illness to leave in Jesus' name, and to agree with him in prayer. I DID IT - just as he said - all the while struggling in conflict over what it would mean if I was healed while submitting to his counsel. BUT (as I said) REAL NEED ALWAYS TRUMPS PRIDE: so I did my best to be submissive and cooperative, and even telling the Lord that if He wanted to confirm to me what Gordon was doing, He could do that easily by healing me NOW.... but I was not healed.... BUT NEITHER WAS I RELIEVED to prove that Gordon was not God's minister to me - I wanted to be healed, PERIOD, and I would have received that healing from ANY source that mentions the name of Jesus in any way. SO, I went through the motions; I did as Gordon said; I conceded to his doctrinal presentation; I forsook the right to judge against him; I was willing to be wrong about him and Christian TV....... I went through an agonizing turmoil to convince myself that it was no good for me to refuse and lose my blessing because of resentment or prejudice.... but I was not healed.

END RESULT? After making all these concessions and yielding to the "ministry" of Gordon Robertson; after giving up the right to be critical of him; after forsaking (for a moment) my judgment against the whole idea of "personal prophecy from the TV"... after literally contradicting almost my whole past and present and becoming willing to be WRONG about people like Gordon AND to admit it publicly......I was NOT healed.

I staggered away from watching that program BEAT UP, bruised emotionally, defeated, and feeling disqualified (again). The ONLY conclusion I could be left with was that GOD LIKES GORDON and GOD LIKES those that respect Gordon: but that GOD DOES NOT LIKE ME because I have (in the past) snubbed or despised Gordon and people like him.

AFTER ALL... there are all those people who claim to have medically certified healings that came to them WHILE they were listening to and praying along with Gordon. Am I going to say that these were all LIARS? NO, I am not.

Christian TV appears to me to be a case in which that which is essentially alright and which has been used by God to minister to The Saints in the past is becoming (turning into; being transformed into) something SO HORRIBLE that it is difficult to speak to it at all. One man who wrote back to me in response to my request for comments told me that whenever he tried to formulate thoughts and conclusions about Christian TV he felt "intellectually paralyzed".

It's as if (like) WE ALL KNOW that there is something frightfully wrong about Christian TV - but that we cannot clearly point out what it is that is wrong.

SO... I turned on "Christian" TV again. They were showing a re-run of a sermon preached by the famous Oral Roberts way back in 1956. I caught the last 2/3 of the sermon. It was an astounding sermon that held my attention. Roberts spoke of the fact we are prisoners of our memories - memories of OUR SINS - and how that we need to understand that ONLY GOD has the power to forget. This was especially meaningful for me, because I have recently been reviewing my past with dismay. It seems like the older I get, the worse I look to myself. It was a "great" sermon, but today (the day after), there seems to be "not much" that I can "do with it". I am SUSPECTING that (at least in my case) God is NOT (no longer) using Christian TV to minister to me! During that same broadcast, I saw with MY OWN EYES as God miraculously healed a women with a pronounced goiter on her neck. I saw her before she was prayed for, and I saw her after she was prayed for. THERE WAS NO DENYING IT! GOD HEALED THIS WOMAN right in front of a tent full of people and in front of the TV audience that was watching (now 46 years later). This was no incident of someone falling down and then saying they felt better! The huge lump on her neck was THERE (for all to see) and THEN, it was GONE!!!

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN about Oral Roberts? Should I now and therefore acknowledge him as God's anointed preacher that I need to listen to? How in the world do I dismiss myself from accountability to a man who preaches a GREAT SERMON and then follows that up with a CONSPICUOUS MIRACLE OF HEALING? OH! - the turmoil that these things often ensnare me in! I don't want to unrighteously REJECT anyone that God anoints and empowers to preach the Gospel! NEITHER will I dare to DENOUNCE any man that preaches a "good" gospel and backs that up with miracles. THERE WAS NOTABLE DIFFERENCE between Oral Robert's 1956 "TV Sermon" and what I mostly hear today.... Oral was NOT "prophesying" to the audience, but was only preaching on "general truths" which apply to me and all. I did not leave that broadcast "beat up and bruised": but instead, I was caused to reflect on the fact I simply cannot say that ALL "Christian" TV was or is a BAD business. I simply have to admit that I was, in fact, DELIGHTED to hear this preaching from Oral Roberts even if it came through the TV!

Until I finish this article, I will go back again and again...to "Christian TV".

I can only surmise that at this time, and because of the present worldwide apostasy, that God is just NOT witnessing to "Christian" TV for people like me.

I cannot prove from the scriptures or from plain reason that "Christian" TV was or is always wrong and bad....... I don't think it is or was ALWAYS wrong or bad.

But in the case where we have people bowing and groaning in front of the TV; or when they think that GOD is speaking directly and prophetically to themthrough the TV, I have to object and WARN you of what this will and can ultimately do to you. ONCE you have become "addicted" to "Christian" TV as asource of ministry, you have turned an inanimate object into a "living oracle" of God..... and THIS..... is..........well...... IDOLATRY.

PLEASE JUST THINK ABOUT THIS: the Antichrist makes his worldwide debut on TV - therefore, his voice and his image can be seen simultaneously across the earth. When you see him on TV, it always feels like he is speaking TO YOU. He works miracles over the TV just like many modern televangelists. Whether or not you like and approve of him becomes a matter of controversy..... if you despise or reject or denounce him, everyone else is angry at you!

THE NEXT THING THAT HAPPENS, is that people are gathering spontaneously in the churches to watch Mr. Antichrist on TV. You are expected to attend, and are reproved if you do not. If you do attend, you are expected to "bow and scrape", or "say amen", or "repeat pledges" ON CUE.... and if you will NOT - you are regarded with anger and suspicion. FINALLY, people are being hauled into locations to watch Mr. Antichrist on TV, and those who balk or will not approve are........excommunicated?...shunned by the rest?....arrested?.......put into re-education camps?

PERHAPS the "mark of the beast" will be handed out in churches and other assembly halls. You have to attend, and you have SAY SOMETHING that confers your agreement and approval, and then you "get your mark". If you balk or refuse..... off to death you go. Sounds pretty reasonable doesn't it? HOW ELSE can Mr. Antichrist actually cause (almost) ALL the people in the world to OPENLY DECLARE either their allegiance or their opposition?

WHEN something morally objectionable comes on SECULAR TV, I can just change the channel or turn it off without a bit of guilt or insecurity. But when I turn off "the Christian preacher", there is always a conflict in my soul. Well, you know... if I love Jesus and Christianity SO MUCH, why do I watch any secular TV at all? AFTER ALL.... there are 24 hours of "Christian Broadcasting" every day of every week. Shouldn't WE SAY that even the worst "Christian" TV is more to be desired than the best of secular TV?

Some of you never watch any Christian TV, and some of you never watch any TV of any kind at all. Most of what I have said will pass you by as not important for you. BUT YOU HAD BETTER REALIZE that the millions; the majority of professing Christians really do believe that "Christian" TV is God's main number one prophetic and evangelistic organ in this world. These are all being TRAINED by what they hear and see on "Christian" TV to come to some unpleasant conclusions ABOUT YOU. We can only hope that The Rapture will take us out of here BEFORE we are ordered into some church building along with a crowd to watch a TV set (or a computer 2010) sitting on top of a pulpit. I am truly fearful that THOSE DAYS ARE COMING, soon.

LAST NOTE (for now): a dream that I had in 1991

There was a local church that I had attended faithfully until 1990. In the dream, I am standing in the back of this same church-house looking towards the front. The only people I see in the room are 3. There is an old man with a young boy sitting in about the middle pews. In front of them and standing between the pews is a man with a clipboard and a pen. The man with the clipboard and the pen is asking the old man and the young boy questions, and is writing something down with every answer. (you know how dreams are - you just "know" certain things) - the old man and the young boy WERE AFRAID. The interviewer was cold and businesslike. This old man and this young boy were being INTERROGATED about their religion. It was also OBVIOUS (to me) within the dream, that the old man and the young boy HAD BETTER GIVE THE "RIGHT" ANSWERS..........or else..........

OH......and by the way... the pastor of that Independent, Protestant, Charismatic church has since CONVERTED BACK to Roman Catholicism.

This article has been VERY HARD to write: it seems as if my mind becomes troubled and disorganized whenever I work on this article. I have been almost 3 weeks working on this almost every day, so far. I think I will send it out now (June 28, 2002) and wait for feedback. I suppose that I may have to edit or add to this some more. THIS WAS HARD TO DO.

(Sept. 25, 2010 NOTE: it took me 3 weeks to compose this article, and this a very laborious thing to do - to write LIKE THIS - so I NEED more "energy" from God IF I should continue writing LIKE THIS. I carefully re-read the above article, and I still agree with what I said back then, and I think I 'said it well' so that you "the reader" CLEARLY understand the issue and it's IMPLICATIONS. Thanks again for your time if you have gotten THIS FAR, for this was L O N G.......)

Please come quickly, Lord Jesus. Amen.

just ANOTHER Christian

The Temptations of Saint Anthony

APPENDIX A